My husband and I have had the privilege and honor of being foster care parents now for   4 years and I can honestly say there is no greater joy than taking care of foster children, other than taking care of, loving and raising our own two children.

Our son had graduated from high school and was in college when we decided to become foster parents. Our daughter was a senior in high school. Being natural caregivers, it just made sense to begin fostering children. We both dreaded the empty nest syndrome that we knew was looming overhead.

We have the honor of picking up most of our babies straight out of the local hospital nurseries.  Some stay with us for a couple of hours and some stay for months. It is different with every baby. We take care of babies for a local adoption agency. Most times the babies are adopted, however on some occasions the biological parents decide to parent the babies themselves.

There is a great misconception among society on the adoption process and the biological parent’s decision not to parent the child. Some see it as the biological parents “giving away the child,” when in reality the biological parents are making a plan for another family to parent their child.

This is the most loving, responsible and caring sacrifice that they will ever make in their lifetime. They are basically putting the child’s “needs” above their “wants.” It is the most loving of gestures. Both the needs of the biological parents and the needs of the child are met, not to mention the desires of the adopting family. It is such an overwhelmingly generous act to allow someone else to parent your child. These biological parents only want what is best for their child and sometimes adoption is the best option.

Adoptive parents understand the birth parents loss of not being able to parent their baby. At the same time, the biological parents understand the adoptive parents’ loss of not being able to produce their own child biologically. The adoptive parents understand the biological parents’ great sacrifice of wanting the best for their baby. It is the most unselfish of acts.

Sometimes these babies/children are placed in foster care before being adopted into their “forever” families. That is where my husband and I step in. We are honored and joy filled to care for these children until they are adopted or returned to their birthparents.

We take in newborns and believe me, they lack for nothing. Some say that these babies are the best dressed in the Fort Worth area. We lavish everything upon them including our love, time, energy, resources, etc. Someone may show up at our home and find it a mess and we reply, “We have been very spiritual today”, meaning that the babies needs have come before the housework. They lack for nothing. If it is a choice of whether to hold and love on a baby or clean the house, we love on the babies. They come first, just as it should be.

We admire the biological parents’ decisions not to parent these babies. It is not an easy decision and many have anguished for days and months on the best decision for them to parent or not to parent their baby.

I do not believe that they come to this decision not to parent their baby easily. It must be a gut-wrenching but loving decision on their part. Adoption is a process that always looks for the best interest of the child, and who could go wrong with that. You can never loose looking out for the best interest of the baby or child.

To parent or not to parent is an individual’s decision and probably the hardest decision that person will ever make in their lifetime. Let us stand together to support whatever decision they decide to make, regardless of whether we believe it is the best or not. They have made that decision out of love and we need to respect it.

I firmly believe that adoption is a wonderful loving act and should be admired by all.