John and Jennifer were living in Arizona, working full time, and leading busy lives. John had a successful career as a software engineer and Jennifer a registered nurse. They had been married for 3 years. One Sunday while at church, they met Mrs. Lively. After getting to know her they found out that she was 70 years old, diagnosed with cancer, and had been fostering her great nephew. She needed someone that could become foster parents to Scott since she was no longer able to care for him.

Scott’s mother had disappeared when he was just 3 years old and no one knew of her whereabouts. Her whole intention was to care for Scott until his father’s release from prison and he could assume the responsibility of a full time parent again. Unfortunately, that never happened. His father remained in prison and could not assume custody of him.  Mrs. Lively decided to take him into her home and care for him. Scott had experienced major traumas in his life. Since the age of 8, Scott had been physically and emotionally abused, and he was severely overweight. 

Once John and Jennifer learned of Mrs. Lively’s situation, they both decided to take Scott into their home. They petitioned the court and became temporary foster parents to Scott. Their initial decision was to be temporary foster parents, not to adopt Scott.

In 1999, John was laid off from his job. John and Jennifer soon after decided to move to Texas. They once again went to family court, but this time to request that Scott be allowed to move with them to Texas, and their request was granted.

Soon after their move, Jennifer became pregnant with her first child, Charles. Once Scott heard of the pregnancy, he told John and Jennifer how badly he wanted a mother and a father. He said, “Charles is going to have one of the best gifts ever, a mother and father that will love him for the rest of his life.” After much prayer, John and Jennifer once again went to family court, but this time to ask that they be allowed the privilege of adopting Scott. Their request was granted. Scott was so happy to assume the role of big brother.

John and Jennifer, after the birth of Charles, tried very hard to make Scott feel just as loved and important was their biological child. Many children that are adopted into families that also has biological children always go through the process of determining where they fit in and deal with identity crisis. Any parent that adopts a child needs to be ever vigilant to reassure that child that they are equally loved and cherished. Some times this takes years. 

John and Jennifer have had many challenging times with Scott over the years but also the couple says that there are tons of happy memories too. Their message to anyone that is considering adoption or becoming foster parents is to realize that they are standing in the gap for the children that so desperately need care. In addition, to realize that the children who come out of foster care and are ready to be adopted usually do not fit the “picture perfect idea of a dream child.”

These children have been in foster care and have been abused, but are able to heal and lead very productive lives. All they need is that one couple that can bring them into their home, along with all the “issues that they come with”. These children desperately need someone that is going to love them unconditionally for the rest of their lives.