There is an overwhelming amount of paperwork that must be completed and reviewed before you wishes to adopt are presented to any birthmother working on an adoption plan. The agency or attorney has an obligation to ensure that all the paperwork is completed and reviewed, background checks are completed, references are verified, and interviews have been performed and noted and an official home study report is typed up by the social worker assigned to your adoption case. Home study fees vary by agency or attorney. Prices can range from $700 to $2,500 and are generally due when the home study is completed.

Depending on the agency or attorney that you choose to represent you, will determine how in-depth the home study will be. Some home studies are very basic such as how long you have been married, your race, your upbringing, your religious beliefs, your employment, your income, etc. A more in-depth home study will give the birthmother a better understanding of you, your motives to adopt, your beliefs, and your ability to be the best choice of parents for her baby. The social worker assigned to your case will conduct several interviews, some with both prospective parents present, and some with each individual prospective parent. The social worker will also interview anyone else that resides in your home and will reside in your home after placement of the child.

If you are the birthparent, and making an adoption plan for your baby, you should use an agency or attorney that gives you information on the prospective adopting parents and their findings after conducting the home study. They will not disclose personal information, however, they should be able to give you basic information about prospective parents and a general summary of the home study performed. If you have problems getting this information, the agency or attorney that you have chose may not be the best choice for your adoption plan.

A home study can seem overwhelming to most going through the adoption process. They are fearful of the unknown. Will the agency or attorney like us, will they think that we are suitable parents for a baby, is our home good enough, will they reject us because of our views on discipline, religion, child rearing, etc. Because of the enormous responsibility of parenting a child, the agency or attorney representing you needs to ensure the birth parents that you are a great choice as prospective parents to their baby and they foresee no issues that would make you undesirable adoptive parents.

Many areas are investigated through the home study process. The first being a criminal background check which also includes a check to ensure that you were not suspected or charged with child abuse in the past.

The social worker will also ask many questions in order to determine if you are emotionally and financially able to adopt a child. Your motivation to adopt is one of the key areas discussed. They will ask discuss and ask about your infertility issues and if you have explored and processed your emotions surrounding any infertility issues you have experienced.

Through the home study process the social worker will request that you each write out your autobiography. This can seem very overwhelming and daunting at first. You are not sure of how in-depth the autobiography should be, what to include and not include, what relationships you should write about, etc. The best course of action is to simply sit down and write out your story, honestly, in a way that summarizes your life and your self. Include items such as your family and the relationships that you have with them, your upbringing, good and bad experiences in your life and how you have dealt with each, etc. Write your autobiography as though you are introducing yourself, your life, and your life experiences and how these experiences have made you who you are today.

The social worker will assess your marriage also. If there were a previous marriage they will ask for the detail of the marriage, why it was dissolved, what lessons were learned that helps them to make the current marriage a success, etc. They will also investigate your current marriage; it’s length and stability. They will want to know how each of you deal with differences, how you deal with life’s up and downs, if you are agreement about disciplining of your future child, etc. They know that not all marriages are perfect. If described as a “perfect marriage”, they will know that the truth is not being presented. They are looking to make sure that your marriage can withstand the emotional ups and downs of adopting and raising an adoptive child.

The home study will need to include your financial status such as your income, job stability, satisfaction with your current job, and your assets. A couple is not required to have a six-figure income to adopt. You do not need to live in a fancy home with designer furniture and drive new cars. They are just interested in knowing that you have the financial resources to care and provide for a child.

The type of baby/child that you are interested in adopting is discussed. What age baby/child you want to adopt, what ethnicities are you open to, the possible medical, emotional, and psychological issues that may be present or in the child’s future. Another issued that is discussed is your expectation of the birth mother’s medical and psychological conditions. Did the birth mother have prenatal care? Was she on or used drugs and/or alcohol during her pregnancy? Is there a medical history of birth defects in the birth mother or birth father’s families?

The social worker will want to know you plan on how and when you will tell the child that they are adopted. They also need to know how open you both want with the adoption and how much contact you are will to have between you and the birth mother. It is recommended that you both attend adoption workshops, read books relating to the generalities of the baby/child you want to adopt. It is recommended that you attend special classes to prepare you for the possible obstacles that are associated with adopting a child of mixed or different race than yourselves, and how to incorporate their ethnic heritage into all of your lives. There are also classes that can prepare you to adopt a child that may have medical challenges, or emotional and/or physiological disorders. These classes are very important because they give you a clear idea of the obstacles, limitations and challenges that come with each issue. They will give advise on each issue and how best to parent the child that may have one or all of these issues. They want you to have a clear understanding of each issue so that you are able to make an informed decision regarding the condition of the baby/child that you wish to adopt and parent.

The home study will also include your religious and spiritual backgrounds along with your current beliefs and practices. Most birth mothers will ask about your spiritual beliefs and practices. They will want to know how you plan to raise a child surrounding your beliefs and practices.

Your educational values and personal aspirations for your upcoming child are noted in the home study. Also discussed, your plans on parenting which will enable your child to reach their full potential in their life.

Lastly, the home study will include reports from your doctor/s on your mental and medical health.

Once all interviews are conducted, all forms completed, and all issues are clarified and approved, the social worker will type up the official home study report. You are now officially approved to adopt a baby or child. Most couples find, after the home study is typed and approved, that they worried needlessly through the home study process. At this point, the agency or attorney will begin the process of presenting you to birth mothers making an adoption plan. You are now on your journey of upcoming adoption and the glorious moment of becoming a new parent. The journey is well worth it so “sit back and enjoy the ride”.

The phrases or words used to discuss adoption, both formally and some times in today’s society, are negative.

Here are some examples of adoption language and the positive way to discuss the issues:

• Birthparents are labeled as the real parent, however, they are the biological parent. A parent is anyone that takes the child in for a lifetime, cares, loves, and nurtures the child. To be a parent they are not required to give birth to that child.
• When adoptive parents introduced their children, they would refer to them as our adopted child, especially if they had their own biological child. Adopted children are not always happy being introduced as different from the other children. Many older adoptees have self-esteem issues before adoption and if introduced in this manner, it only reinforces their opinion of themselves that they are different or of lesser value than the biological child does. The adoptive parents should always introduce the child as “their child”, not “my adopted child”.
• One of the most damaging labels that adoptive child are sometimes called is “illegitimate”. Edna Gladney went through legislation in Texas to change the laws regarding birth certificates. Through her tireless efforts, a bill passed that made Texas the first state to legally remove the information area on birth certificates that signifies legitimate or illegitimate. The child in these cases has no responsibility in the matter and therefore, if need be, should never be referred to as illegitimate but rather, a child that was born to an unmarried couple.
• Many in society refer to adoptive parents as “they could not have children”. Adoptive parents are very sensitive about this matter. They have gone through the painful journey of infertility; financially, physically and emotionally. A better way to say it is, “they could not conceive or could not carry a pregnancy”. It is not a point that they could not have children because through adoption they are able to have children.
• Adoptive parents are labeled as “not the real parents of the child”. A parent is someone that wants their children to grow up happy, safe, healthy, and loved so that they can reach their full potential within themselves. They want these children to reach their all their dreams and aspirations. These parents are financially, emotionally and physically able to provide for their children. These adoptive parents should be referred to as “the parent”. A parent need not give birth to the child to still fulfill the role of parent.
• Adopted children are labeled as “the unwanted child”. All children everywhere are wanted by someone. They are “a child in need of a family”.

For the birth parents/biological parents, they are also discussed in many negative ways. This is very hurtful and comes from misinformation relating to adoption.

Here are a few examples of positive adoption language:

• I have heard many times, “I just don’t know how the birthmother could give up her baby for adoption”. Birth mothers are to be commended upon their decision to “not parent the child” because they understand their circumstances, and some times, their very limited resources. They have decided to love their baby so much that they have decided to do what is best for their baby, knowing that the baby will need someone else to fill the role of parent. This is referred as an adoption plan.
• When the biological mother changes her mind about the adoption plan, it is commonly stated “she is keeping her baby”. In reality, she is choosing to parent her baby.
• Birth mothers are said to have had an “unwanted pregnancy”. No one can really know what goes through the woman’s mind and heart while she is pregnant. Her pregnancy is simply “an unplanned pregnancy”.

Some of these questions they are unable to answer merely because they have not had time to process their own adoption and have not come to answers about it for themselves. Sometimes the questions have not even come across their minds to even think about.

People can never understand what it is like for the adopted child unless they themselves have walked in their shoes. Here are some of the questions that are usually asked of adoptees: 

• How does it feel to know that you are adopted?
• Are you sad/happy that you know you are adopted?
• Does being adopted make you feel different from other people?
• Do other kids make fun of you when they find that you are adopted?
• Where is your real mother?
• Were you adopted because your mom and dad abused you?
• What were your real mother and father like?
• Have you ever seen your real mother and father?
• Where are they from?
• Are you ever going to search for them?
• What do you think they are like?
• Why did they give you up for adoption?
• Did you ever live in an orphanage or foster home?
• What was that like?
• Were you ever abused in the foster home/orphanage?
• Was your mom and dad married?
• Did your dad just leave your mom when she told him she was pregnant?
• Do you have any brothers or sisters?
• Were they also adopted, and where are they at now?
• Did your mom keep any of your brothers or sisters?
• Do you all have the same birthparents?
• Do you ever wonder what you will look like when you grow up?
• Was your mom or dad on drugs or alcohol?
• Did your mom and dad live on the streets?
• Was your mom a prostitute?
• How much did your adopted parents have to pay for you?
• Do you think that they ever regret adopting you?
• Do you regret being adopted?
• Do your other brothers and or sisters in your adopted family treat you different because you were adopted and they were not?
• Do your adopted parents baby you because you were adopted?
• When did they tell you that you were adopted?
• How does it feel to be a different race from your adopted parents?
• Do you think that they understand that you want to be like other kids of the same race as you?
• Do your new relatives treat you different from the other kids in the family?
• Do you know other kids that are adopted?
• Do you prefer to keep your adoption a secret? 

Before you pose any of these questions to an adopted child, ask yourself, would I want to be asked such personal questions? Can you just imagine what it would feel like for a four, five or six year-old child to be asked these questions? Even to the older child these would be very difficult and more than likely make them feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. 

As parents of adopted children, parents need to understand that these questions are posed to their adopted child in schools, on the playgrounds, at sporting events, at church, at sleepovers, and even at family gatherings. Most of the time, these questions come at the most inopportune times and in front of other friends and family, which only heightens the embarrassment or shame. These questions are asked sometimes just innocently, but many times their friends, teachers, coaches, neighbors and schoolmates ask them.

Some of the best responses that an adopted child could give at these times are to say, “I would rather not talk about it.”  On the other hand, “This is my business and is too personal. Or sometimes just walking away from the person can help the situation. 

Adopted parents are also asked personal questions about the adoption; however, they are much more prepared to answer the question or have ready made answers to the question that let the person know that it is a personal matter and not to be discussed. One of the most asked question to adoptive parents is, “Is that your real child?” In addition, the response should always be, “Of course, she/he is a real child and she/he is our daughter/son.” 

Until the public is more educated about the reasons, the process, and the joy of adoption these questions will be asked. I hope that soon the media and press will be more vigilant about educating the public about issues surrounding adoption. 

To all families touched with adoption ~ “Stand strong and proud”

These children often come into adoption knowing that they were not wanted or that their biological parents were unable to care for them. This brings a myriad of emotions and thoughts about their situation or about themselves that needs to be explored and thought out.

Here are a few things you should avoid doing at all costs with your adoptive child.

• Be very vague about the child’s biological parents. Many adoptive parents do this feeling as if they are protecting the child and many times this only makes the situation worse.
• Refuse to ever talk about the adoption and just insist that the child is theirs and that is just the way that it is.
• Making the child feel guilty or ungrateful when they ask any question about their background or their biological parents.
• Making the child feel guilty or ungrateful if they question why they were adopted.
• Tell the child that they must have done something wrong for their biological parents not to want them.
• Tell the child that they should be grateful and in their “debt” because they “saved” them.
• Make the child feel disloyal if they talk about their birthparents or want to make excuses for them.
• Making the child feel guilty if they share that they are adopted with other people.
• Not recognizing that the child has a set of biological parents and adoptive parents.
• Introducing the child as their “adoptive” child.
• Make the child feel that they had to “settle” because of their own infertility.
• Not acknowledging the birth parents abuse or neglect of the child. Or refusing to even speak of it, thinking that they are protecting the child.
• Refuse to offer professional help to the older adoptee. Ignoring that they may have issues that they need someone to talk to about.
• Thinking that if they just loved them enough that it will “fix” all of the child’s issues or concerns.

I was born in September of 1960’s to a nurse in Washington State. She was 26 and unmarried. She had me at the hospital and left me the next day, unnamed and alone. The doctor that delivered me named me and even brought me to his home to be cared for by his wife until Catholic Charities came to bring me to a foster home.

Three months later, I was adopted by a military family stationed in Spokane, WA. My Mom and Dad drove through a snowstorm to come and pick me up at the foster home. Mom said that I was her Christmas present. My Dad was in the Air Force. They met and married when they where very young. I think that Mom married Dad in large part just to get out of the abusive situation that she was in with Grandpa and Grandma. They were very harsh with her. As we look back now she went from one abusive situation to another. Dad was just as bad. He controlled everything. Mom did not even learn how to drive until she was in her 30’s and was never allowed to have a job or outside friends.

We lived in Washington until I was six. We then moved to Louisiana, where I lived for the rest of my childhood.

I have an older sister and she is nine years older than I am. She is also the only biological child my parents had. My sister currently resides in Louisiana and attended law school. She has been married four times and has four children and five grandchildren.

I also have an older brother. He is seven years older than I am. He was adopted in Morocco, Africa while my parents were stationed there. My parents decided to quit loaning him money after he became an adult so he moved and he has not been in contact since.

My older sister and brother are not very close to me. The age gap was just too much for there to be much of a connection. I have not spoken to or had contact with my brother in 21 years. My sister has not been in touch in about 18 years. Her choice, not mine.

I also have a younger brother. There is only a two-year difference between us so we are much closer. We were able to grow up and go to school together. He was also adopted in Washington. He now lives in England, just north of London with his wife and two girls. We stay in close contact and have a great relationship. As we were growing up, we fought constantly. It was as adults that we became true friends. With maturity comes better insight into others.

My parents divorced after 42 years of marriage. The court battle that preceded it was nasty and was the main reason for our family being divided. My sister chose my father’s side and that is why she refuses to stay in touch with my mom or me. My father now resides in Natchitoches and stays in touch sporadically. I had to testify at the divorce hearing about him having an affair. It is amazing to me how doing something that he always taught me to do, tell the truth, is what finally came between us. I have tried to stay in touch but he is reluctant.

My mother now resides in Texas and I guess is doing well. She chooses to have nothing to do with me after I contacted my birth mother in 2006. I needed some questions answered about her and my biological father. She was on her deathbed and I felt like I had to go see her before she died. I received no information from her, she made it all about her, and then she died two weeks later. My adoptive mother has not contacted or spoke to me since then. I have tried to call but she will not answer the phone. I have sent letters and cards but she just puts them in larger envelopes and returns them unopened.

My father still lives in Louisiana and we have now reconciled our relationship and have made a fresh start.

My elementary years were typical. I was in the Brownies, Girl Scouts, school plays, etc. When I was in 7^th grade, we moved from south Louisiana to north Louisiana. Fitting in at the new school was a challenge. The new school was located in a Hispanic community with only about five percent of the student body as white. In high school, I was active in various clubs. FFA and Art Club were my favorites. I bought, raised and showed sheep for the FFA. I was able to bring home ribbons and trophies for my hard work.

High school was tough for me because I was not allowed to date or hang out with my friends. My father did not allow it. Looking back now I guess he did me a favor. I may not of gone into the Air Force and met my husband of 25 years.

After high school, I went immediately into the Air Force. I had basic training in San Antonio, Texas, career training in Colorado, and then was assigned to an airbase located in Germany. I met and married my husband in Denmark in 1984 and we have been married now for 25 happy years. We are each other’s best friends.

I have two children, a son that is 24 and a daughter that is 22. I have good relationships with both of my children. We all enjoy spending time together. The discipline that we have used over the years has varied, mainly due to age. We have always insisted on respect, total honesty, and accountability. I worked outside of the home for some time due to financial needs but mostly stayed home with the kids over the years. Active parenting has worked with our family. I was always there when my children came home and when they did not have school. I believe that my children faired well because they were well supervised.

My son was born with Osteogenesis Imperfecta (OI), or Brittle Bone Syndrome. We had many medical challenges raising him. He has been a child that needed constant care, tons of time in the hospital, in the wheelchair, endless doctor appointments, and a myriad of medication given. This has given me the ability to learn tons of patience and more knowledge than most parents have of medical issues, hospitals, and such. I am aware of the huge responsibility that comes when caring for a special needs child. All of this would have been easier if I had known at the time that I was adopted. I could have found out that I had inherited the O.I. from my biological grandmother and biological mother.

My daughter currently works in the Fort Worth area and attends night classes at the local college. She is also full of life and dreams. She is described by some of my friends as being larger than life and very animated.

As an adult, I have had a son born with a disease, parents that were divorced, my children being in the Wedgwood Church shooting, losing a grandmother that I adored, and found out that I am adopted. At the age of thirty-two I found out that I was adopted and I did not handle the news well. I went into depression. I firmly believe that children should be told early that they are adopted. It should not be the dirty family secret that it used to be in the 60s.

I found my birth mother after much research and having to go to court to get the adoption records opened. In Washington State the records are sealed and the only way for them to be opened is if the birth mother gives consent. I realized that she did the best thing for me. She never meant to hurt me, she just did not know what else to do. It still pains me though when I have to go to the doctor and let him know that I have no idea about my family medical history. It is very embarrassing. I know that if I were told that I was adopted from the beginning it would not have been this thing in my life that “makes me feel so shameful.”

My own adoption has played a major role in my decision to work with a local adoption center. I realize that babies and children need a safe place to be until their adoption goes through or their biological parents want them back. These children need to be prayed over and loved on. The families need to be ministered to and not judged.

There will always be challenges in life. I believe that we should always deal with them in a positive and loving way. I firmly believe in keeping family close and loving one another.

In today’s society, adoption is an acceptable topic and no one is looked down upon. Every adopted child needs and deserves to be told of their family history regardless of how sketchy it is. If the adoption is kept a secret, it only brings shame and embarrassment to that child. It makes them feel that their self worth is less than others. The best approach to adoption is openness and truth from the beginning.

I am thankful that I was adopted and wish all families well that decide that adoption is the best choice for them. It takes mighty people to open their homes to an adoptive child and make the decision to love them for the rest of their lives. These families are to be commended for their loving caring spirits, and the dedication that comes with adopting children. They know that once that child is adopted it is someone that they will love for the rest of their lives.

Anonymous Adoptee

They wonder the same things. They ask themselves the same questions:

• Why did my biological parents not want me?
• What is so wrong with me that they did not want me or want to fight for me?
• Was I a bad child and they could not handle me?
• If I had been a better-behaved child, would they have kept me?
• Was it because I was not smart enough, pretty enough, etc?
• Am I just trash that is to be thrown away?
• What could I have done different to make them change their minds?
• If I had been born a girl/boy would that have changed their minds?
• If my biological dad had been there, would my mom have given me up for adoption?
• Was I that much of a burden for my biological parents?
• Did I disappoint them in some way?
• Am I less valuable than the biological child that is raised by its own parents?
• What do people think of me when they find out that I am a foster child or adoptee?
• Will they hold that against me?
• Will they just pity me?
• Do my new parents just feel sorry for me or do they really love me? And why?
• Do my new parents have expectations that I will never be able to fill?
• What if I mess up, will they send me back? Will they regret adopting me or taking me into their home as a foster child?
• Why do other parents go to any lengths for their children, but mine could not.
• If my adoptive parents/foster parents really knew the true me, would they still want me here?
• How can I test them to make sure that they really love me? How far can I push “the envelope” with them?
• If my birth parents are so immoral and despicable, does that mean that I am also?
• Is that my future and I have no choice in it?
• Why do I have these persistent feeling of shame and guilt even though I know that it was not my fault that they did not want me?
• Why do I let myself be defined by being an adoptee/foster child?
• What will the other kids at school think of me as a foster child or of me, if they find out that I was adopted?
• I want to trust my new foster parents/adoptive parents, but why is it so hard for me?

Because of these and many more questions, these children may need help from therapists who offer treatment for identity disorders.

Adoptive parents and foster parents always need to check their own attitudes about foster care or adoption. This will enable the foster child or adoptee to understand their efforts to help.

Foster families provide not only safety but also nurturing care, assistance with schooling, medical care, emotional support, physiological support, and stability that these children so desperately need. These families help these children and youths to see that there is hope and many opportunities for them in life. They teach them to make wise choices in their lives. They teach them what a healthy thriving family looks like. In addition, they teach these children and youths that they are valuable and worth fighting for.

Foster families are in great demand in all states. It takes commitment and determination, but the payoff is the knowledge that they have made a difference in the lives of these children and youths. They care for these children until it is safe for them to return to their homes or until they are adopted.

According to the Texas Child Protective Services (CPS) annual report for 2007 the number of children and youth in foster care for 2006 was 34,275 and for 2007 the number of children and youth in foster care was 33,615. This is an alarming number of children and the need for foster families is always high. Foster parents receive reimbursements for the cost of caring for these children. CPS sets up all appointments for the medical, dental, and various therapies that these children need. The state pays for all charges.

Take the time to recognize and honor all of these families, volunteers, and state workers that care for these children and youths.

Scott’s mother had disappeared when he was just 3 years old and no one knew of her whereabouts. Her whole intention was to care for Scott until his father’s release from prison and he could assume the responsibility of a full time parent again. Unfortunately, that never happened. His father remained in prison and could not assume custody of him.  Mrs. Lively decided to take him into her home and care for him. Scott had experienced major traumas in his life. Since the age of 8, Scott had been physically and emotionally abused, and he was severely overweight. 

Once John and Jennifer learned of Mrs. Lively’s situation, they both decided to take Scott into their home. They petitioned the court and became temporary foster parents to Scott. Their initial decision was to be temporary foster parents, not to adopt Scott.

In 1999, John was laid off from his job. John and Jennifer soon after decided to move to Texas. They once again went to family court, but this time to request that Scott be allowed to move with them to Texas, and their request was granted.

Soon after their move, Jennifer became pregnant with her first child, Charles. Once Scott heard of the pregnancy, he told John and Jennifer how badly he wanted a mother and a father. He said, “Charles is going to have one of the best gifts ever, a mother and father that will love him for the rest of his life.” After much prayer, John and Jennifer once again went to family court, but this time to ask that they be allowed the privilege of adopting Scott. Their request was granted. Scott was so happy to assume the role of big brother.

John and Jennifer, after the birth of Charles, tried very hard to make Scott feel just as loved and important was their biological child. Many children that are adopted into families that also has biological children always go through the process of determining where they fit in and deal with identity crisis. Any parent that adopts a child needs to be ever vigilant to reassure that child that they are equally loved and cherished. Some times this takes years. 

John and Jennifer have had many challenging times with Scott over the years but also the couple says that there are tons of happy memories too. Their message to anyone that is considering adoption or becoming foster parents is to realize that they are standing in the gap for the children that so desperately need care. In addition, to realize that the children who come out of foster care and are ready to be adopted usually do not fit the “picture perfect idea of a dream child.”

These children have been in foster care and have been abused, but are able to heal and lead very productive lives. All they need is that one couple that can bring them into their home, along with all the “issues that they come with”. These children desperately need someone that is going to love them unconditionally for the rest of their lives.

The couple researched infertility treatments and like most other couples, found that they are very expensive and very emotionally draining. Not to mention, tons of visits to the doctor’s offices with no guarantee of success.

Susan and Bill went through the whole infertility regime for 2 years and at the cost of approximately $10,000 before deciding not to resume more treatments.

A caseworker that Susan knew through her consulting work suggested another option, adoption. At this point, Susan was 26. They were unsure if this was the direction, they wanted to take. Domestic adoptions are usually quite a long process and do not provide much of a guarantee of healthy infant. By the age of 29, they decided to adopt an infant to bless their family internationally.

They had heard about some success stories of other couples adopting through South Korea, so they, after much prayer and contemplation, chose that route. They used Dillon International out of Arizona, because they felt that the organization was committed to the lifetime care of these children.

Dillon International is based on the concept and belief in the Great Commission of Jesus Christ. More research is available on Dillon International by going to http://www.dillonadopt.com.    

In South Korea, when a woman becomes pregnant she has the option of hiding the pregnancy until birth or go to one of the Korean Social Services until the baby is born. In South Korea several years ago, most birth mothers kept the pregnancy a secret. Society and their families could completely reject them and turn them out to the streets. If society and the families knew of the pregnancy, these women could and most times became unemployable and unmarriageable. If the biological father wanted to acknowledge the baby he would have the child listed in his family blood lines, because most families follow the teachings of Confucius and the blood lines are very important. These children are then listed on the family registry. 

Once the birth mother decides to check into an adoption birth home, she would relinquish her rights upon checking in. Most birth mothers relinquished their rights to the baby by either her signature or a red thumbprint on the documents in lieu of the signature. She is also asked to write a brief paragraph of herself and the biological father and divulge any family medical history if she so choose. With the lack of government documentation as it is here in the United States it is possible for the birth mother to give a fictitious name and/or not even mention the biological father’s name. 

Once these babies are placed in orphanages they are usually cared for by foster parents. These are usually of grandparent age. These parents are provided with the formula, diapers, wipes, etc. that they baby would need. They are responsible for making sure that the babies receive all the proper medical care and immunizations. These babies are emotionally, physically stable babies, and lack many of the issues that come with babies and infants that have been institionalized. Most children past the age of three are not available for international adoption and are cared for by foster parents, families of the biological parents or orphanages. 

Susan and Bill adopted their first child, Sung-Joon, when he was six months old. They used the Family Adoption Consultants out of Michigan and Ohio in conjunction with the Korean Social Services that oversee all government orphanages in South Korea. Once they were notified of a baby available they were notified by Dillon International Adoption Agency in accordance with the Hague Convention. They were required to have a home study performed and all background checks completed.

The Hague Convention on the Protection of Children and Co-operation in Respect of Inter-Country Adoptions is an international agreement to safeguard inter-country adoptions. It aims to prevent the abduction, sale of, or traffic in children, and it works to ensure that inter-country adoptions are in the best interests of children.  It ensures a safety net for the adoption to be finalized and complete.

Susan and Bill were not required to travel to South Korea for their baby as some countries do. The baby was transported to the United States by guardianship of Dillon International. From the time they were notified that the baby was available, it was two months before they received his picture and another four months later he blessed their home.

During this waiting time, they were instructed to contact the Department of U.S. Immigration to begin the paperwork for their baby’s citizenship in the United States. These children become United States citizens upon adoption. The baby is transported to the United States under the guardianship of the adoption agency and the families are inspected and reviewed for 6-9 months before the adoption is finalized. All concerned had only the desire to have the best interest of the child as the most important aspect of the whole adoption process. 

Bill and Susan were so pleased with their whole adoption experience from South Korea that they have since adopted two other children, one who is now 12 years old named Joo- Hee and another baby, who is now 11 years old and named Kill-Soo. To protect the privacy of the family we have only given the children’s Korean names. They were changed at the time of adoption. 

Bill and Susan’s love of children and their overwhelming ability to open their homes and their hearts to these children has blessed them beyond measure. They now also have a biological 4-year-old son named Billy. 

On a day-to-day basis, this family incorporates Korean culture with American culture. The children have the opportunity to attend classes at a local church on Saturdays where Korean is spoken, celebrated, and Korean customs are explained. This family also has the resources available from a local Korean Support Group. 

International adoption is a joy and blessing to every family. Children are children regardless of where they are born. They all need a nurturing, loving supportive home that can help them through life and the many challenges that may come their way. The families that adopt these children give them the best opportunities that life has to offer and in exchange, they receive the overwhelming unconditional love that these children so freely want to give, for a lifetime.

Accredited Agency

An accredited agency is an adoption service provider who has been accredited by either the Council on Accreditation (COA) or the Colorado Department of Human Services (CO) to provide adoption services in the United States for cases subject to the regulations set forth by The Hague Adoption Convention.  An accredited agency does not include a temporarily accredited agency. 

Accredited Body

An accredited body is an adoption agency, which has been through a process of accreditation including meeting criteria for accreditation imposed by the accrediting country, and can perform certain functions of the Convention in the place of, or in addition to the U.S. Central Authority.

Accrediting Entity

The Council on Accreditation (COA) and the Colorado Department of Human Services (CO) are the two organizations that have been designated by the U.S. Secretary of State to accredit adoption service providers in the United States for cases subject to the Hague Adoption Convention.

Adoption

Legally speaking, adoption is the judicial and administrative act that establishes a permanent legal parent-child relationship between a minor and an adult who is not already the minor’s legal parent and terminates the legal parent-child relationship between the adoptive child and any former parents. 

Adoption Court

There are several key legal entities involved in the inter-country adoption process.  State courts play dual roles, also as an adoption court, holding legal jurisdiction over the grant of custody for the purpose of adoption or adoption.

Adoption Record

An adoption record is considered to be any information, supporting documents, or items related to a specific adoption of a child including, but not limited to, photographs, videos, personal effects, correspondence, social information and medical information, and any other information about the child.  These records are maintained and received by an agency, person, or public domestic authority.  There is a great importance in keeping accurate and up-to-date records.  

Adoption Services

There are six major services provided by adoption service providers:

1. Identifying a child for adoption and arranging an adoption
2. Securing the necessary consent to termination of parental rights and to adoption
3. Performing a background study on a child or a home study on a prospective adoptive parents, and reporting on such a study
4. Making non-judicial determinations of the best interests of a child and the appropriateness of an adoptive placement for the child
5. Monitoring a case after a child has been placed with prospective adoptive parents until final adoption
6. When necessary because of a disruption before final adoption, assuming custody and providing, including facilitating the provision of, child care or any other social service pending an alternative placement.

Agency

An agency is a private, non-profit organization licensed to provide adoption services in at least one state.  Individuals and for-profit entities that provide adoption services are considered “persons.”  Not every adoption service provider can be considered an agency. 

Approved Home Study

An approved home study is a comprehensive review of the home environment of the child’s prospective adoptive parents that has been:

1. Completed by an accredited adoption service provider
2. Approved by an accredited adoption service provider.  One of the most critical elements of the inter-country adoption process is the approved home study. 

Approved Person

An approved person such as a lawyer or retired judge, is an individual that has been approved by an accrediting entity to provide adoption services in the United States for cases subject to the Hague Adoption Convention. An adoption agency is not the only type of adoption service provider available to prospective adoptive parents.

Best Interests of the Child

The “best interests of the child” is a lawful determination by the law of the state with jurisdiction in order to decide whether a particular adoption or adoption-related action is in a child’s best interests.

Case Registry

In compliance with the Inter-country Adoption Act of 2000, the U.S. Secretary of State and the U.S. Department of Homeland Security jointly established the Case Registry, an adoption records system. 

Central Authority

The U.S. Department of State is designated as the United States Central Authority for the Hague Adoption Convention.  As the U.S. Central Authority, the Department of State facilitates, oversees, and regulates Hague Adoption Convention cases in the U.S. 

Central Authority Function

Knowing the U.S. Department of State is the Central Authority for the United States, Central Authority function is any duty required under the Convention administered directly or indirectly, by a Central Authority. 

Competent Authority

A competent authority is a court or governmental authority of a foreign country that has jurisdiction and authority to make decisions in matters of child welfare, including adoption in its own country. 

Complaint Registry

As a source of accountability, the U.S. Secretary of State created the Complaint Registry as a way to receive, distribute, and monitor complaints relevant to the accreditation or approval status of adoption service providers. 

Convention

Whenever the “Convention” is mentioned on this website, we are referring to the Hague Convention on Protection of Children and Co-operation in Respect of Inter-country Adoption signed at The Hague, Netherlands on May 29, 1993.  The Hague Adoption Convention is the important treaty that governs adoptions in the United States and other countries. 

Convention Adoption

A Convention adoption occurs whenever a United States citizen adopts a child, whom is a resident of a Convention country.  Another instance of a Convention adoption occurs when an individual adopts a child that is a United States resident, or individuals residing in a Convention country, when, connection with the adoption, the child has moved or will move between the United States and the Convention country. 

Convention Country

A Convention Country is one of 75 nations that has ratified, entered into force, and are party to or members of the Hague Adoption Convention along with the United States. 

Country of Origin

The country of origin is considered the country in which a child is a legal resident and will be emigrating from in conjunction with an adoption case. 

Department of Homeland Security

The U.S. agency responsible for facilitating immigration cases, including those related to inter-country adoption. 

Disruption

A disruption occurs when there is an interruption of the inter-country adoption process during the post-placement period, but before the adoption is completely finalized. 

Dissolution

Dissolution is the termination of the adoptive parents’ parental rights, after the adoption has occurred. 

Exempted Provider

Another key player in the inter-country adoption process is the social worker.  Social work professionals or organizations that perform home studies on prospective adoptive parents are called exempted providers.  Exempted providers can also conduct child background studies in the United States in connection with a Convention adoption, but that is not currently providing and has not previously provided any other adoption service in the case.  Exempted providers are not required to be accredited, approved, or supervised by an accredited agency or approved person, but the studies they perform must be approved. 

Foreign Authorized Entity

Outside the United States, a foreign authorized entity can be a foreign Central Authority or an accredited body or entity that has been authorized by that particular country to perform Central Authority functions in a Hague Adoption Convention case. 

Hague Adoption Certificate

When a child emigrates from the United States to another Convention country, the United States Secretary of State issues a Hague Custody Declaration and a Hague Adoption Certificate.  The Hague Adoption Certificate officially states that the child has been adopted in the United States, in accordance with the Hague Adoption Convention and the Inter-country Adoption Act of 2000. 

Hague Custody Declaration

When a child emigrates from the United States to another Convention country, the United States Secretary of State issues a Hague Adoption Certificate and a Hague Custody Declaration.  A Hague Custody Declaration asserts that custody of a child for purposes of adoption has been granted in the United States in accordance with the Convention and the Inter-country Adoption Act of 2000. 

IAA – Inter-country Adoption Act of 2000

IAA is the acronym for the Inter-country Adoption Act of 2000, the Public Law that provides for the implementation of The Hague Adoption Convention. 

Illegal Adoption

An illegal adoption is an adoption resulting from abuses such as: abduction, the sale of, traffic in, and other illegal or elicit activities against children. Abuses in the adoption process occur every day, and the Hague Adoption Convention was established to help prevent such abuses.  

Independent Adoption

Adoption cases where the prospective adoptive parents are approved as eligible and suited to adopt by their Central Authority or accredited body and subsequently travel independently to a foreign country to find a child to adopt, is considered an independent adoption.  Independent adoptions take place without the assistance of a Central Authority or accredited body in their State of origin. 

Legal Custody

Legal custody means that an individual has responsibility for a child under the order of a court of law, a public domestic authority, competent authority, public foreign authority, or by operation of law. 

Legal Services

These services are interpreted as any assistance that relates to legal advice, information, and to the drafting of legal instruments, such as: drawing up contracts; powers of attorney; and providing advice and counsel to accredited agencies, temporarily accredited agencies, approved persons, and/or prospective adoptive parents on how to comply with the Hague Adoption Convention and the Inter-country Adoption Act of 2000. 

Orphan

A child may be considered an orphan for any of several reasons, including the death or disappearance of, abandonment or desertion by, or separation or loss from, both parents; if a surviving parent or unwed mother is unable to properly care for the child, among other reasons as specified by U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services.  

Orphan-First/Orphan First Country

The orphan-first determination was created in an effort to help prevent prospective adoptive parents from traveling overseas to complete a non-Hague adoption, only to find out they would have to return to the U.S. without the child because the Form I-604 investigation revealed the child was not technically considered to be an orphan.  In an orphan-first country, a child’s orphan status is determined before the final adjudication of the Form I-600.  Currently, Vietnam is the only orphan-first country. 

Person

A “person” is an individual or a private, for-profit entity, including a corporation, company, association, firm, partnership, society, or joint stock company, providing adoption services.  It does not include public domestic authorities or public foreign authorities. 

Post-Adoption

Post-adoption is the period of time after an adoption in a Convention country and is followed by a re-adoption in the United States. 

Post-Adoption Reporting

After a child is adopted, some countries of origin have post-adoption reporting requirements.  Adoption service providers must comply with the state laws of the jurisdiction where you live regarding the number of post-adoption home visits that are required as well.  The adoption service provider includes a requirement for such reports in the adoption services contract. 

Post-Placement

Post-placement is the period of time before an adoption, but after a grant of legal custody, or guardianship of the child to the prospective adoptive parents, or to a custodian for the purpose of escorting the child to the identified prospective adoptive parents. 

Primary Provider

The primary provider is any accredited agency, temporarily accredited agency, or approved person that is identified as responsible for ensuring that all six adoption services (mentioned earlier) are provided. 

Private Adoption

A private adoption occurs when arrangements for adoption are made directly between a biological parent in one Contracting State and prospective adopters in another Contracting State. 

Public Domestic Authority

A Public Domestic Authority is an official entity operated by a State, local, or tribal government within the United States. 

Public Foreign Authority

A Public Foreign Authority is an official entity operated by a national or sub-national government of a Convention country. 

Secretary

Whenever we mention the Secretary, we are referring to the U.S. Secretary of State, the Assistant Secretary of State for Consular Affairs, or any other United States Department of State official exercising the Secretary of State’s authority under The Hague Adoption Convention and/or the Inter-country Adoption Act of 2000. 

Simple Adoption

A simple adoption is an adoption in which the parent-child relationship that existed before the adoption is not terminated, but a new legal parent-child relationship between the child and his or her adoptive parents is established and those adoptive parents have parental responsibility for the child. 

State

In the United States, a “State” is not only considered to be the fifty States and the District of Columbia, but also includes the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico, the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands, Guam, and the United States Virgin Islands.  

Supervised Provider

A supervised provider is any agency, person, or other non-governmental entity, including any foreign entity, that is providing one or more adoption services in a Convention case under the supervision and responsibility of an accredited agency, temporarily accredited agency, or approved person that is acting as the primary provider in the case. 

Temporarily Accredited Agency

An agency that is accredited on a temporary basis by an accrediting entity to provide adoption services in the United States in cases subject to the Convention. 

U.S. Authorized Entity

An agency or person that is accredited or temporarily accredited or approved by an accrediting entity, or a supervised provider acting under the supervision and responsibility of an accredited agency or temporarily accredited agency or approved person. 

Visa

A Visa is an official authorization permitting entry into and travel within a particular country or region.  When an orphan enters the United States with an immigrant visa, he/she is considered a lawful permanent resident of the United States, not a United States citizen.