Becoming a foster parent can be an exciting adventure. The majority of potential foster parents have glamorized the role, that is, up until they begin going through the training required.

The first role of foster parents is to protect and nurture any child placed within their home. They will become part of a professional team that’s one goal is protecting the child until his or her future is determined.

The training that is required helps the parents to understand and be aware of the mandate, structure, and relevant regulations of Child Protective Services (CPS). Training teaches about the state laws that influence the process of child placement, permanency of placing and the laws that define child abuse and neglect. Foster parents should have the ability and willingness to work with the birth parents while the child is in their home. The ability to be objective and professional at all times is a huge asset to any foster parent. Instead of being judgmental, the foster parents are there to provide support and comfort for the child above all else. Foster parents have a critical role in helping to achieve permanence and stability for children.

The second goal of foster parents is to meet the child’s developmental needs. Foster parents can meet the child’s developmental needs by building self-esteem, providing positive guidance, supporting cultural and spiritual identity, and using appropriate discipline. Supporting educational/intellectual growth and encouraging positive social relationships also helps the child’s developmental needs.

Foster parents can help children develop attachments by constantly understanding and meeting the child’s needs. Also, by helping the child express their feelings and demonstrating that they understand. Helping the child feel good about themselves and helping the child to relax and have fun aids in the development of attachments.

Foster parents need to understand some of the factors that delay or impede child growth and development. Some of the factors are:

• Physical neglect and/or abuse
• Emotional abuse and neglect
• Prenatal factors
• Sexual abuse
• Accidents and trauma

It is very important for the foster parents to understand how to address emotional and developmental delays. This is where training to become a foster parent plays a big role.

Society’s view of the foster care system, for the most part, is negative. The media is all too quick to report on those foster care families that for one reason or another hurt the children, neglect them and sometimes kill them. There are those foster care families that will take in a large number of children, in order to support themselves. They take the assistance the state provides for the children, and will use it for their own monthly bills and selfish needs. This is likely to leave the children in worse conditions than they came from.

The media reports on these families fail to show the huge number of great foster care families that give well beyond what is asked or required of them. You have to remember, these children come into the foster care system because they have been neglected and abused.

It is no small task to take these children, many of whom have behavioral problems, into their homes. Sometimes bringing these children into their homes puts their own family are risk. They must take care of emotionally and sometimes physically fragile children. They must also deal with the families that these children come from if the child tells them where they are currently residing. These children need all the love, support, guidance and sometimes medical care that they can get. (more…)

My husband and I have had the privilege and honor of being foster care parents now for   4 years and I can honestly say there is no greater joy than taking care of foster children, other than taking care of, loving and raising our own two children.

Our son had graduated from high school and was in college when we decided to become foster parents. Our daughter was a senior in high school. Being natural caregivers, it just made sense to begin fostering children. We both dreaded the empty nest syndrome that we knew was looming overhead.

We have the honor of picking up most of our babies straight out of the local hospital nurseries.  Some stay with us for a couple of hours and some stay for months. It is different with every baby. We take care of babies for a local adoption agency. Most times the babies are adopted, however on some occasions the biological parents decide to parent the babies themselves.

There is a great misconception among society on the adoption process and the biological parent’s decision not to parent the child. Some see it as the biological parents “giving away the child,” when in reality the biological parents are making a plan for another family to parent their child. (more…)

In Texas, and across the country, there is a great need for more foster care families to care for the growing number of children in the foster care system. It may seem intimidating to go through the process, but the benefits for you and the child are immeasurable. Below are some of the things you need to know if you are interested in becoming a foster parent in Texas.

The foster care parent need not be married, they can be single. However, they must also meet other requirements, such as being at least 21 years old, a responsible mature adult and financially stable.

There are so many children in the foster care system in the state of Texas and more and more foster care families are needed every day. Once the decision is made to become a foster care parent an application is to be filled out and the prospective foster care parents are asked to provide proof of marriage and/or divorce, share their personal backgrounds and lifestyles, and provide relative and non-relative references on their behalf.

The applicant(s) must also agree to a home study where a staff member from the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services comes to their home and visits with them and all other household members. This enables the staff to know if these are appropriate living situations for the foster children placed in their homes.

The state’s main concern is the safety of the children placed in foster homes. All adults in the prospective home must complete an abuse and/or neglect check along with a complete criminal history background check. The prospective foster parents need to attend free training also to learn about issues of neglected and abused children, CPR/First Aid Certification and agree to 20 hours or more of continuing education every year. The training they receive will assist them with the various issues that will arise once a foster child is placed in their home.

Foster parents must agree to a nonphysical discipline policy in their homes at all times. They must also allow no more than six children in the home at one time, and this does include their own children. They also must provide adequate sleeping space for each child.

All pets residing in the home must also have all vaccinations. Foster care parents are also required to submit to health, fire, and safety inspections of their homes on a regular basis. The safety and health of the children is always the utmost concern for the state when they place these children in foster homes. The state agency is charged with making sure that the children are placed in very competent, trained and loving hands.

Foster care parents are instrumental in the nurturing and loving care of these children who are placed in their homes. They become the child’s advocate in their communities and their schools. They protect and care for these children as if they were their own. This means taking care to see that these children receive proper medical care, have help adjusting to life’s many situations and providing these children a positive role model that will helps them later on in life.

Before being placed in a foster home most of these children have never known a positive, healthy, loving home structure, with rules and guidelines for living a productive life. Foster homes play a very big part in educating these children about the many important life lessons, social etiquette, social graces and opportunities that are available to them.

These children often arrive in foster homes with no hope and no desire to strive to be better. Without hope, they are doomed. The foster families, that so loving take in these children, teach them that there is hope and there are better solutions to life’s problems than they currently have available. These foster care homes teach them life skills that they can use throughout their lives.

My husband and I became Transitional Care Parents for a local non-profit adoption center here in Fort Worth, Texas on Jan. 1, 2005. Transitional Care Parents are certified the same as foster care parents for the state of Texas. We hold the same license as those of foster care parents for the state.

We, and other foster care parents, are thoroughly investigated by the state. Criminal background checks, fingerprinting, health checks, immunizations, etc. are required by the state in order to obtain state licensing.

The myth that any person can be a foster parent if they desire, is wrong. The truth is, any person requesting a license as a foster care parent must undergo thorough background checks, medical evaluations, personal biographies, home studies, mental health checks, first aid and CPR classes, childhood care classes, abuse and child neglect classes, etc. All foster care parents in the state of Texas have gone through extensive testing, classes and certification in order to hold a foster care license.

The state of Texas always has the best interest of the child at heart when they license foster care parents/transitional care parents. Those licensed as foster care parents have gone through extensive testing, background checks, and teaching. No child is placed in a home unless it is completely safe and the parents are well educated in the various aspects of the foster care system and the emotional and possible physical needs that these children come with.

Any child placed in the foster care system comes with emotional issues that need to be addressed. The best thing about foster care is that this is a safe place for these children to residue so that medical and psychological professionals address issues. These are homes that allow these children to receive loving care and protection, as their parents are educated, rehabilitated or the parent’s rights are terminated.

Once the parent’s rights are terminated, these children are ready for adoption. Some couples are interested in adopting only newborns. There are vast amounts of available children ready for adoption through the state’s foster care system. These children desperately need nurturing, loving, accepting families. These children are in need of love and acceptance, especially since life has dealt them a tough hand.

I have seen in the past that these children make wonderful additions to families because they come with the understanding that families are important and they take nothing for granted. They appreciate all the love that they receive from their adopted families and they make wonderful additions to these families. They come with a wonderful sense of adventure and an overwhelming need to please.

They have this amazing ability to open the family’s eyes to the less fortunate in our societies. They have the ability to show families how blessed they are and how there are so many children out there that believe there is no hope. The families that adopt these children are blessed beyond measure and most families go on to adopt additional children. The strongest advocates for foster care and adoption are those that have adopted through the state’s foster care system. They are all to aware of its importance and its saving grace for many of the children that have been abused, neglected, and deserted by dysfunctional families.

Some couples have this idea of the perfect newborn to add to their family. Many children are available for adoption through the state’s foster care system. These children may not be newborn they are just as precious and full of joy and potential. They come with an overwhelming need to please and to bring joy to the family that adopts them. To overlook these children is to miss the blessings that each one of them can bring to your family. Every child is valuable and unique.

In a parent-initiated adoption, it is important to work with your attorney if you experience problems. One of the biggest and most devastating problems is if the adoption falls through. Unfortunately, if the birth mother changes her mind you have no recourse. This is when an experienced attorney can assist you in approaching the situation carefully and make sure that every aspect of the adoption is in line before you commit emotionally and financially to the adoption.

One of the most important ways to make sure you are prepared is to go to counseling. A good counselor can help you see the whole picture and make sure that this adoption is the best choice for you and your family. A good counselor can also be beneficial to a birth mother who is facing the difficult process and help her to deal with her choice not to parent the child. This can also help her to deal with the ups and downs that will surely come as she progresses through her pregnancy.

There are some warning signs that you and your attorney should look for in the parent-initiated adoption.

One set of signs to look for is in the facilitator that will handle your particular adoption.

1. The issues in the adoption contract do not meet with what the facilitator has told you.
2. The facilitator does not or is hesitant to provide references. Or if he or she states that it is a matter of privacy and they are not allowed to divulge this information to you. This is a big warning sign.
3. The facilitator will not give you the address and phone number to the business where they are employed.
4. The facilitator becomes perturbed or seems insulted when you ask questions about the adoption, which pertains to protecting you through the adoption process.
5. The facilitator asks for a large amount of money up front, in addition to the small application fee, and/or the large amount is non-refundable.
6. The facilitator is hard to reach or just does not return your phone calls.
7. The facilitator is vague as to time lines for certain paperwork to be completed pertaining to the adoption.

There are some warning signs to look for from the birth mother also.

1. The birth mother refuses or does not see the importance in meeting with a counselor.
2. The dates that the birth mother gives you just do not add up.
3. Her story about the pregnancy, the birth father, her home conditions, etc. change and do not seem accurate or trustworthy.
4. She says that she has been to see the doctor but cannot show proof of the visit.
5. The birthmother cannot give you documented proof of the pregnancy.
6. If she states she is having twins but cannot show you a sonogram picture from the doctor’s office as proof.
7. The birthmother is hesitant or will not give you her home address or phone number. Or, if the birth mother will only give you her cell phone number.
8. The birth mother requests money up front for living expenses and such.
9. The birth mother insists that she wants to bring you the baby, instead of you being at the hospital at the time of birth. She does not want you to see the baby in the hospital setting.
10. The birth mother is hesitant or will not talk or meet in person, your attorney, the facilitator or other adoption professional that you may be using.
11. The birth mother seems way too enthusiastic and ready to hand over her baby without really getting to know you.
12. The birth mother refuses to be seen or met in person.

The adoption process is a very emotional process and it is always wise to take a step back from time to time to evaluate the situation and make sure that everything is in order. You and your family do not need the added stress of an adoption plan falling through.  An experienced adoption attorney can assist you and help make sure that this does not happen to you and your family.

Most adoptions go smoothly; however, sometimes problems will come up. Although these issues will require some adjustments, they are not necessarily deal breakers. An adoption attorney or agency will know the best way to avert problems and whom you can trust in the adoption process. Adoption agencies and adoption attorneys handle many adoptions and can guide you through the process with minimal chances of problems occurring. There are some warning signs that you should look out for in the adoption process.

The warning signs for public adoption agencies could include:
• The caseworker not providing details or being vague about the child’s background.
• You are not given the opportunity to know the child’s medical background and status.
• The foster parents are not willing to work with you through the adoption process.
• The caseworker does not return phone calls in an appropriate amount of time.
• Your questions are not answered.
• You are not given the opportunity to get to know the child well before the adoption.
• You are not given the opportunity to meet the child before the adoption.

On private agency adoptions the warning signs are:
• The agency is unwilling or slow to provide references from prior adoptions that they have handled.
• You are not told the number of adoption that they have successfully administered each year.
• The agency is slow or does not return your phone calls.
• A large upfront fee is requested and no fee breakdown is indicated.
• The agency does not tell you or they are vague when the explain how it finds the birth mothers
• They agency is unwilling to give you complete information on the birth mother’s history and background.
• The agency promises a child faster if more money is paid up front.
• The agency pressures you to sign the agency agreement.

The warning signs for international adoptions are:
• The agency does not provide references when requested.
• The agency does not promptly return phone calls or is unable to answer your questions about the child, the adoption or the birth mother.
• The agency does not encourage or allow you to obtain a medical evaluation of the child you have chosen before finalizing the adoption.
• When traveling to the country from which you are adopting the child, the agency does not provide escorts, translators and interpreters.
• A large fee is required up front along with a small application fee.
• The large fee is not refundable if the adoption falls through.
• The agency is unable or not willing to allow you any information on the birth mother.

Most adoptions are successful and are a joyful process. The best defense against these problems is working with a reputable adoption agency or an experienced adoption attorney. The adoption process should be a wonderful experience for you and your family. A problem filled adoption process is very stressful for you and your family and can be averted by using an agency or an adoption attorney.