What is an independent adoption?
Independent adoption is where you find a birth mother wanting to give her child up. There is no agency involved, though a lawyer is almost always necessary. All states have strict independent adoption laws. While adoption can be much faster and much more reasonably priced, sometimes agency adoption is better.

Why use agency adoption?
Independent adoption has many advantages over agency adoption, namely in terms of time and money. However, not all agencies charge high fees and take a long time. An agency will give you much more resources than an independent adoption might. You might get parental counseling, for example. You have two options for an agency adoption: public agency, which is easier but children are older and out of foster care, or a private agency, where you can be more selective and adopt an infant. Public agencies are faster and cheaper, but you may have less options and the children are often older.

How can you use international adoption?
If you adopt internationally, also called intercountry adoption, you may run into some legal red tape. You have to satisfy the U.S. federal government, your state government, and the child’s birth country laws. So if you live in Texas, and try to adopt from France, you would have to follow Texas adoption laws, federal adoption laws, and French adoption laws. This can lead to some problems. You still have to work through an agency, but common sense should be applied: there is a lot of demand, but there are dozens of countries you can adopt from, often cutting down on time. You should never try intercountry adoption without legal counsel.

How much will it cost?
This depends on your choices. Independent adoption is often the most reasonably priced. Agency adoptions, especially via public agencies, are not always expensive. You can expect to pay from thousands to tens of thousands. Paying over $30,000 for a private agency adoption is not uncommon, nor is spending much less with an independent adoption.

How long will it take?
Adoption is, understandably, not a race. The child’s rights and protection are crucial. You can rarely adopt within a years time no matter what type of adoption you try. Typically, 1-2 years is the average. You can cut down on this time considerably with the help of a lawyer.

Do you always need a lawyer?
There is always the option to forgo a lawyer, but much like criminal law cases, you won’t know how the legal process works. If you hire an experienced adoption lawyer, he or she can explain your best options, get you a child right for your family, save you money on fees, and ensure you follow all laws.

State adoption laws differ, which makes studying these laws and your options important. Rarely can you do this alone: it’s recommended you hire an experienced attorney with the time and knowledge to go over your options. There are some initial steps you can take yourself, especially if you haven’t decided if adoption is right for you.

Make Contact
Write down a list of agencies in your state, contact them, and ask for information. It’s important to contact a large number of agencies and to go over the materials they send you in detail. Remember how important it is to get the right agency. If you make mistakes here, it might delay your adoption.

Set Goals
If you are unsure of what you want in an agency, sit down, perhaps with your spouse, and brainstorm. This need not be a grueling process. Set some simple and reachable goals: instead of saying “I want a child in six months,” be more realistic and say, “I will spend several months querying agencies, then try to get an infant in 1 year.” That’s the right kind of goal – one you can reach.

Query an Agency
After you put together a list, get some documentation, and find upside for certain agencies, contact a few of them. You should start meeting with agencies too. Leave your decision open until you’ve visited several. Trust your instincts on people, ask tough questions like on fees and time tables, and never settle for one agency. Instead of just choosing the first good agency you find, be selective. The decision is important so take your time.

Critique the Agency
Make sure the adoption agency is licensed correctly. For example, if you adopt in New York, ensure they are licensed in the state of New York. If you are considering an international adoption, make sure this agency is licensed in that country. If possible, you may even want to look over a list of parents who adopted and ask them about their experiences.

Consider Alternatives
Adoption agencies are not your only option. And if you adopt from an agency, it does not always mean you have to go with a private one. You can adopt from both private and public adoption agencies (public agencies can be faster). You might also consider adopting via an independent adoption, where you find a birth mother. In any case, hiring a lawyer is crucial.

Get a Lawyer
Perhaps the first step you should really take instead of getting agency information is contacting local adoption lawyers. A lawyer will be invaluable in saving you time, money, and headaches in the adoption process. The lawyer may have worked successfully with other agencies before. If you adopt via any means, but especially with independent adoption, the legal paperwork comes in stacks. Protect yourself and your family’s future by hiring an experienced adoption lawyer in your state.

Do always need an attorney when adopting? You should rarely adopt without legal counsel. Why? While it does cost money, this can be a life changing event. If mistakes are made, it can hurt both the child and your family.

Making Legal Choices
An adoption attorney helps you make legal choices, from the moment you start looking to what you finally decide to do. For example, should you use independent adoption, agency adoption, or try to adopt from another country? There are different costs, time tables, and rules for each of these. Each choice has some advantages and disadvantages. An adoption lawyer can help decide what’s best for you.

Confused About Adoption Laws?
Adoption can take a long time and cost you some money, but it can also be one of the most fulfilling moments of your life. State laws all differ, so if you read one guide on adoption, you may get the wrong information for your state. This is where an experienced adoption attorney can be invaluable.

Negotiating with an Agency
Did you know you can cut costs of adoption by going through a public agency rather than a private agency? But agencies can be quite picky about who they let adopt a child through their programs. Say, for example, you have a criminal history: you might have trouble adopting. Or say you have no spouse and plan to raise this child alone, or you are a same sex couple, or you are trying to adopt an infant from a certain ethnic group – these all have different criteria.

Independent Adoption
If you find a birth mother willing to give up her child, you can save time and money in comparison to an agency adoption. However, each state has very strict rules to follow and documents to fill out. Finding a mother is not the end of the process; it’s only the beginning. An adoption attorney is crucial in ensuring you succeed.

A New Adoption Attorney
If you hired the wrong adoption attorney – which unfortunately does happen – there is no law stating you must keep him or her as your lawyer. If you are having trouble communicating with your attorney, if he or she is not spending enough time helping you, remember you are paying them money – and that means they are supposed to help you as best they can. When you have the wrong adoption lawyer, you may want to go back to the drawing board. Don’t let this stop you from hiring another; there are many lawyers in adoption law with the skill and experience to help.

In a recent New York Times Op-Ed (an April 2010 post), a nightmare scenario for a Russian adopted child shocked the world. A seven year-old boy was returned, alone, by the woman who adopted him on a plane back to Russia. She said, in short, that the child was too much for her and her family, and considered him to be dangerous. Such an event caused uproar across the world, and also, according to the report, stopped any adoptions of Russian children to the U.S. for the time being.

Such an event does more than hurt the adopting family; what it really does is affect the young boy or girl who is rejected and almost thrown away. Such an event should have never occurred. Also, it may be worth exploring yourself. Are you ready for adoption? What if you get a child you simply cannot handle? This blog guide gives action steps for avoiding problems before, during, and after a successful adoption.

Make a Budget
Why make a budget to adopt a child? Money is a concern for many of us. It’s important to plan for both adoption fees and raising the child after. Adoption can cost upwards of $30,000 if you go through an agency. While independent adoption is more reasonable, it will still cost you some money. Therefore, before you invest everything into a child, consider a budget where you will not have problems simply putting food on the table.

Know Your Options
You have options beyond agency adoption. Though agency adoption is the most common, and the easiest process in many cases for both you and child, it can also be quite expensive. As noted, if you go through an agency, you might pay well over $30,000. Sometimes you pay much less. You might also consider adopting from a public agency, or use independent adoption. Public agencies take children from foster care and bring them into your home; you can save time and the price is often better. Independent adoption, where you find a birth mother wanting to give her child up, can be much easier on your bank account and much faster. Remember, in each form of adoption, there are strengths and weaknesses. Beyond your budget, you may plan for how to handle delays. The average adoption takes from 12 to 18 months, but sometimes you have to wait longer.

Plan for Problems
If this is your first adoption, and perhaps your first child, you should have a plan for any problems. You might adopt an older child. How will you acclimate him to his new surroundings? You may find a birth mother willing to let you adopt her child, but she asks for some compensation. In this situation, negotiating with an adoption attorney is crucial. There are numerous more problems. What if you feel you cannot raise this child at some point? What if the child struggles with his or her new environment? What if you break up with your spouse? These are all important questions to ask.

Have a Support System
Post adoption support systems, as noted in the New York Times op-ed, are important. You should have some support system beyond your immediate family. This can be beyond parenting professionals; you may have some friends with more experience in raising a child. But if you adopt, no matter if this is your first child or not, you should have a  post adoption support system in place.

Understand International Adoption
To avoid the nightmare this Russian child went through, be careful when using international adoption. Since you can rarely get infants via international adoption, be prepared for an older child. This does not always mean the child will very old, but he or she can have months or years of life experience already. If you adopt internationally, do your homework, work with a good agency, and consult with an adoption attorney.

High Fees
If you adopt, you can pay well into the tens of thousands of dollars. This can make the entire process seem impossible. In our current economy, who can afford to spend $30,000 to adopt a child, then try to properly raise him or her, and still have enough for college?

Do you have other options? The most expensive way to adopt is often through a private agency. They have to charge high fees because of how selective they are of both children and adopting parents. While this process may be the easiest, especially in terms of paperwork and legal documents, a public adoption agency or an independent adoption can save you a lot of money. This is not something to decide alone; at the least, consult with an attorney and perhaps also query multiple agencies in your state. It’s also important to note you may save time and money by adopting internationally, adopting an older child, or adopting more than one child.

Long Wait
There are many ways you can save time. A private adoption agency may be the safest way to adopt, but they are quite strict on parents who they allow to adopt, while also being quite hard on the pocket book. You may be put on a waiting list for years. On the other hand, you may try an independent adoption, where you find a birth mother willing to give up her child. A public agency can also help you avoid a long wait; you may adopt a child out of foster care who needs a home. If you are very specific on what you want for your child, such as ethnic group, age, and sex, it can delay the adoption. If you keep your options open, you can save a lot of time.

Wrong Agency
You may pay tens of thousands of dollars, wait years, and then get a child suffering from emotional distress. That is an example of what the wrong agency can cause. All adoption agencies are state regulated, but you need not stick with just one. If you are unsure of how to start searching for the right agency for you, working with an experienced adoption attorney can help.

Independent Adoption Birth Mother Issues
Sometimes independent adoptions can be problematic as well. This is where a legal expert, your adoption attorney, can be invaluable. There is much more to an independent adoption than finding a mother and filling out paperwork. The process still takes some time, requires extensive legal work, and will still cost some money. If you have trouble here, ensure you protect your rights, the child’s rights, and the birth mother’s rights.

Parental Problems
For many who have never had children, adoption can be quite exciting. On the other hand, if you get a 1 year-old girl or a 18 month boy, they can be a handful. There is more to it than diapers, much more than any blog post can highlight. If you work with a good adoption agency, they can facilitate your need for counseling. If you go outside agency adoption, or adopt an older child, you should still consider some parental adoption to learns skills in raising this child best.

Wrong Legal Help
Finally, what happens when you hire the wrong attorney? Adoption is impossible without an experienced attorney. There are many attorney’s with relevant experience to help you. You should be as critical of them as anyone. There is nothing wrong with continuing to contact attorneys until you get the one who can really help. And if you hire someone who makes mistakes, takes too long to get back to you, or has other problems, there is no law saying you cannot fire him or her.

Adopting itself can be both exciting and troubling. Parenting is never easy, but if your goal is to have a new addition to your family, it can be immensely rewarding. If you want to adopt, for any reason, you may worry about how long it takes, what it will cost, and on what child you can get. International adoption is one of your options, and clearly it has some benefits. Let’s go over details on some of the key benefits of international adoption, and then look at the negatives.

More Available Children
There are many, many children available for adoption from across the world. This gives you a multitude of options. You can be more picky when selecting a child. You may, for example, prefer a younger child, or prefer a girl, or prefer one from a certain culture. You have options worldwide because, as in the U.S., many birth parents simply do not have the means to take care of their child. You are also, in your own way, helping society itself out. Raising a child properly is important for all of us.

Time Table
You rarely wait much longer than a year for an international adoption. You still work with an adoption agency, and you still will be on a list, but consider that dozens of countries have tens of thousands of children up for adoption every year. Waiting years for a child born in the U.S. is not uncommon, while waiting 18 months or less for a foreign child is quite common. Many worry about being put on adoption waiting lists and not knowing the time table. You almost always know how soon you will get a child.

Guaranteed a Child
All international adoptions are for children who have already been given away. The birth mother cannot change her mind; she has given up the child as an orphan. Therefore, you will never be promised a child and then have the birth mother take him or her back.

Save On Fees, Know the Price
Since there are more children available for adoption worldwide than in the U.S., you can often work with an agency for a lower fee. Also, you will know the total price for the adoption beforehand. If you feel the price is too high, you may try a different agency. While international adoptions vary in terms of fees, you rarely pay huge amounts.

Downsides
There are some downsides to international adoption too. As part of the process, you rarely get an infant. All children available for international adoption are a year of age or younger, but you cannot get an infant like you might in the U.S. Also, the paperwork involved in an international adoption can be daunting; you should always consult with a lawyer. With the help of a good agency and an experienced adoption lawyer, you can save time on paperwork, get a healthy child, and raise him or her as best you can.

There is nothing wrong with asking questions, especially when adopting. Some are harder to answer than others, so let’s go over some of the most serious.

Can you raise this child?
Adopting is a very serious choice. You need to know if you are capable of handling any type of child – no matter if it’s a boy or girl; older child or infant; child from another culture or country, etc.

Do you always need an attorney when adopting?
You do not always have to work with an attorney when adopting, but most who have adopted before consult with some legal help. And those who are adopting for the first time should definitely consider it. If you want to save time and worry, having an experienced adoption attorney to help you adopt is crucial. Even if you have adopted before, there are many complex laws involved – including state and federal laws, and sometimes foreign laws for international adoption. In any case, a lawyer is valuable and should be affordable.

What type of child are you capable of parenting?
So you know you can raise a child – and you also are considering an attorney – but what type of child are you capable of parenting? You may have more difficulty with an older child, but you can get her in less than a year. You may worry that raising two boys will be too difficult with you and your spouse’s jobs, but again you don’t have to wait as long. On the other hand, you may want to wait longer for an infant of your ethnic background. There is no shame in wanting a child to be an infant and of your culture, but it can delay the process. If  you are unsure, consult with an adoption attorney.

How long can you wait for a child?
As the examples above just went over, adopting outside your main criteria can save you a lot of time, paperwork, and very often money. If you work with a private adoption agency, and have strict guidelines, you might pay $30,000 or more and wait years on a list – but you get what you want. If you go through a public agency, and adopt a child from foster care, this can save you a lot of time and money, but the parenting may be more difficult. Time is an issue for all of us, so explore your options.

Do you want contact with the birth parents?
While this is not always an easy question, depending on what form of adoption you take and how your child grows up, you have to consider birth parents. For example, if you use independent adoption – where you find birth parents wanting to give a child up for adoption – you may have much more contact with them. Sometimes there is the worry of being taken advantage of by the birth parents asking for money or help. Usually this situation works out, but even if you decide to make no contact with the birth parents, the child may eventually want to know them.

Do you need parental counseling?
If you work with an adoption agency, though time consuming, it helps not only with following all laws but also in the parental counseling offered. This gives you and your spouse a chance to prepare for the child, raise him or her, and do so with love. Parenting can seem scary; everything, from food to medicine to sleep, depends on you. Therefore, counseling may not be a bad choice.

Can you adopt?
There are some complex rules you need to consider before adopting a child. If you adopt within the U.S., you must follow both state and federal laws. So if you are adopting in Indiana, you’d have to follow both Indiana adoption laws and federal laws. If you adopt internationally, that too is different: you have to follow the foreign country’s adoption laws, the state you are adopting in laws, and federal laws. To get started, you should decide if you’ll be eligible and what for. The general guideline is that you are a “fit parent” who can raise a child. Some states have rules which, though they may seem unfair, are the law. If you go through an agency, for example, you may face some daunting requirements.

Why use an agency?
Before you start this process, consider your options. You can do more than adopt through an agency, though that is the most common way to do so. Agency adoption gives you the option of using a public agency or a private agency. Public agencies usually deal with orphaned children and those from foster care. A private agency are given children usually by birth parents wanting to give them up.

There are some advantages in using an agency. You have many options for who to work with, if you have specific needs they can be met, and you can get help with paperwork. On the other hand, agency adoptions can be expensive and time consuming.

If You Want to Speed the Process Up
You need not go through an agency; you can use independent adoption to directly adopt the child from the birth parents. This can speed up the process greatly. You may be denied for agency adoption, cannot afford it, or are put on a long waiting list. If you go directly to the birth parents, with some professional help you can legally adopt the child directly. You have more paperwork, making an experienced lawyer quite valuable.

Preparing for Parenthood
You may be scared about taking on a child, even if you’ve had children in your family before. Agencies offer counseling for prospective parents to better prepare them for raising a child. You can find counseling via other means if you do an independent adoption. If you have no experience in raising a child, you have to be aware this will likely hurt your sleeping patterns and strain your emotions. There are many counseling programs available for prospective parents.

Hiring an Experienced Adoption Lawyer
If you decide to use independent adoption, you almost always need an experienced adoption lawyer. He or she is invaluable in ensuring you follow all state and federal laws (and a foreign country’s laws too if you adopt internationally). If you go through an agency, you may have more help getting paperwork correctly filled out, but you still need representation to ensure you are being treated fairly and are following all laws. If you are unsure of where to begin with an adoption, consider consulting with some lawyers, then choosing one you can afford and who has relevant experience.

While adoption can be an exciting, learning experience, raising a foster child is different. It’s for the short term, so you have to be ready to let this child go to his or her birth parents or permanent parents. What does it take to be a foster parent? What help can you get? Let’s find out.

Are you ready?
Fostering is not easy. This may put an immense strain on your family. Yet there are rewards for parents who help a child along in his or her journey.

The important thing is to not go into fostering blind. Be prepared for situations, for stress, and to ask for help when needed. You should always have a strong support system in place to help and protect the foster child. For example, if you or your spouse are gone on a regular basis for a job, how will the foster child handle one parent being gone? Who can watch over the child when both foster parents are incapable – a family member or friend? Plan for these eventualities. An agency can ensure you have a professional support system, but you do need help from loved ones.

Can you support this child?
Instead of support via money, you may consider how you support this child emotionally. In many cases foster children are past their toddler years, have had both good and bad experiences, and will need you to be patient, to show love, to teach, and to listen.

What attitude does the child have?
By emotionally supporting the child, you may have to address previous issues. For example, an older child who’s been in and out of the system may have abandonment issues (which is much more complex than we can go over). The child may treat you, initially, in a mean way, or be the opposite – start out as happy as can be and then turn resentful. There are as many situations as children on the world. How you learn to handle this child’s attitude toward you is crucial.

How do the rest of the family feel?
If you already have children, how do they feel about you bringing in a foster child? Before you even get into this process, you should of course discuss the issue with any others who live in the home. If you have children, you need their opinions and concerns. If your spouse is unsure of fostering a child, you need to sit down and discuss it. As this child needs to be treated fairly, it’s important to remember everyone else in the family too.

Are you considering adopting?
Some foster parents end up wanting to adopt a child instead of fostering them. You can find many children in the foster system open to adoption. You have other means of adoption too. If you are ready for a more permanent addition to the family, consider adopting. But fostering a child is unique in how you help in the short term, remembering you have to eventually say goodbye.

Adoption can feel like a dream when everything is going well, only to become time consuming, costly, and troubling as you try to add a new person to your family. An adoption attorney can save you time, money, and headaches. How do you hire one? Reading articles and blog posts is a good start. You should consider consulting with as many adoption attorneys as possible; if they offer a free initial consultation or case review, that can save you a lot of money when choosing. But how can they save you money? How can they save you time? What if you need support?

Save Money
An adoption can cost you $50,000 if not more depending on who you work with. Agency adoptions at that rate are not uncommon.  Generally, depending on the agency or other way you adopt, you pay from $5,000 to $50,000. Yet you have far more options than you might think. You can go directly to birth parents and use an independent adoption to save money. When negotiating with birth parents, you want to factor in how much financial help they want. Adoption can be costly without legal expertise when handling agencies, birth parents, state governments, and federal laws.

Speed up the Adoption Process
Agency adoption waiting lists can be quite long. If you want a child faster, you might try another agency, try independent adoption, adopt an older child, adopt a pair of siblings, or adopt from another country. However, laws in each of these types of adoption can be quite complex, especially international adoption where you have to follow federal, state, and foreign laws.

Consult on Adoption Types
You can use agency adoption, independent adoption, intercountry adoption, and many others. Depending on your income, family size, and time you are willing to wait, a lawyer can be invaluable in helping you choose the best. For example, an experienced lawyer may advise how agency adoptions, though sometimes more costly and time consuming, can help you avoid major legal entanglements.

Federal, State, and Sometimes Other Country Laws
As noted, if you adopt a child from another country, intercountry adoption, then you have to not only follow U.S. federal laws and state laws, but also that country’s laws. State laws are all different on adoption: if you adopt from Texas, that’s different from Maryland. As are foreign adoptions: Ireland is different from India.

Prepare You for the Child
While an adoption attorney isn’t trained to help you with parenting skills, he or she can advise you on getting consulting. For example, he  or she may refer you to an agency experienced in preparing parents for raising a new baby. This can be quite helpful if it’s your first child.