Below is a description of one woman’s struggle to deal with finding out that she was adopted…

I was born in September of 1960′s to a nurse in Washington State. She was 26 and unmarried. She had me at the hospital and left me the next day, unnamed and alone. The doctor that delivered me named me and even brought me to his home to be cared for by his wife until Catholic Charities came to bring me to a foster home.

Three months later, I was adopted by a military family stationed in Spokane, WA. My Mom and Dad drove through a snowstorm to come and pick me up at the foster home. Mom said that I was her Christmas present. My Dad was in the Air Force. They met and married when they where very young. I think that Mom married Dad in large part just to get out of the abusive situation that she was in with Grandpa and Grandma. They were very harsh with her. As we look back now she went from one abusive situation to another. Dad was just as bad. He controlled everything. Mom did not even learn how to drive until she was in her 30′s and was never allowed to have a job or outside friends.

We lived in Washington until I was six. We then moved to Louisiana, where I lived for the rest of my childhood.

I have an older sister and she is nine years older than I am. She is also the only biological child my parents had. My sister currently resides in Louisiana and attended law school. She has been married four times and has four children and five grandchildren.

I also have an older brother. He is seven years older than I am. He was adopted in Morocco, Africa while my parents were stationed there. My parents decided to quit loaning him money after he became an adult so he moved and he has not been in contact since.

My older sister and brother are not very close to me. The age gap was just too much for there to be much of a connection. I have not spoken to or had contact with my brother in 21 years. My sister has not been in touch in about 18 years. Her choice, not mine.

I also have a younger brother. There is only a two-year difference between us so we are much closer. We were able to grow up and go to school together. He was also adopted in Washington. He now lives in England, just north of London with his wife and two girls. We stay in close contact and have a great relationship. As we were growing up, we fought constantly. It was as adults that we became true friends. With maturity comes better insight into others.

My parents divorced after 42 years of marriage. The court battle that preceded it was nasty and was the main reason for our family being divided. My sister chose my father’s side and that is why she refuses to stay in touch with my mom or me. My father now resides in Natchitoches and stays in touch sporadically. I had to testify at the divorce hearing about him having an affair. It is amazing to me how doing something that he always taught me to do, tell the truth, is what finally came between us. I have tried to stay in touch but he is reluctant.

My mother now resides in Texas and I guess is doing well. She chooses to have nothing to do with me after I contacted my birth mother in 2006. I needed some questions answered about her and my biological father. She was on her deathbed and I felt like I had to go see her before she died. I received no information from her, she made it all about her, and then she died two weeks later. My adoptive mother has not contacted or spoke to me since then. I have tried to call but she will not answer the phone. I have sent letters and cards but she just puts them in larger envelopes and returns them unopened.

My father still lives in Louisiana and we have now reconciled our relationship and have made a fresh start.

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